Not alone out here in the uttermost parts…

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One of the interesting parts of my journey has been the initial isolation you feel when you begin the trek down a different path. The further I go down the path the more I come across others who are on the similar journeys. Today I discovered the blog of Jim Palmer. Just reading his current post, “you can’t get there from here (or can you)“, I found myself excited. One of the sentences that got me really excited was this one:

i don’t feel the need to cling to the label “Christian,” and i am okay with people who don’t think i am one.

I too have gone through a period where I was not quite sure what I had become and didn’t know how to answer the question “are you a Christian”? I can say that the only folks I’ve come across who question my relationship to God are those who are typical church goers. Especially those with whom we attended church or served on their church staff at some point. Most think we’ve had some deep hurt from the church and have turned our backs on it. We get that blank look that comes after you tell them and it’s obvious they are hoping we’ll get over it at some point and return. But when you’ve had steak you can’t settle for SPAM any longer when you don’t have to.

On the other hand, when we come across unbelievers or others going down this same path we are on, we don’t get those questions or the stares. And oddly enough, the unbelievers just notice something “different” about us and because we’re not all “churchy” they actually open up and pour out their souls to us. The opposite of the reactions we used to get, and never noticed before because we were too church-strung, of the blank stare and obviously trying to think of an answer that allows them to slip away from the encounter never to have to see us again.

So, as Jim I don’t cling to, and actually shy away from, the term “Christian” these days because of the association that it conjures in the mind of others. I’ve landed on the term Christ Follower. It’s much more descriptive of where I am and where I am headed.

Grow Spiritually = Active in Small Group and Still in Church

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As I began to wake up from my years of Churchianity I began to really struggle with the rhetoric we hear week in and week out (or day in and day out if you are a really mature Christian -tongue in cheek-) about spiritual growth. In a recent article on his blog, David Landrith, pastor of the church I used to attend for quite some time and by all the standard measures of church success a highly successful place, kicked off an emphasis on getting everyone involved in a small group (amazing this is a whole article and they finally decided not to call it Sunday School… something they said would never change while I was there). In the article he makes note of the following (my excerpts with surrounding stuff removed)…

to grow spiritually…

the value of being in a small group…

…five times more likely to be active in church than those who attended worship service alone.  They also found that more than eight out of ten of the members who were active in a small group were still in church 5 years later.  However, only two of ten were still active in the church five years later if they attended worship services only.

The reality is that most life change occurs in a small group!

Note the beginning of the excerpts set up the premise that he’s going to talk about spiritual growth. Then he quotes the president of LifeWay about the value of small groups and how going ensures you’ll still be going five years down the road whereas those who only take a small dose each week were so much less likely to be as active.

So, what’s wrong with this? Where’s the growth, other than the number of folks filing through the doors each week of course? We are talking about growing spiritually, right?

So, here’s the unquestioned assumption here not being challenged is “are those who are still involved five years later actually walking more like Christ (not do they go to church more often, tithe more, walk and talk like ‘us’)?” While I would submit there are a handful who truly live more like Jesus I would also submit it’s not the small groups, or the worship services that changed those lives. In fact, I would submit that those lives would have been changed even apart from the millions of dollars it took to “make it happen” through weekly experiences at the church. Those individuals, given a genuine one on one relationship with another believer would have grown and saved “the kingdom” millions of dollars.

David, I don’t know if you will read this or not. And I hope that, if you do, you won’t be offended that I chose to blog about this rather than write a personal email. I sat and listened to your preaching for about a year and a half as I had begun to awake from my Churchianity. I heard the inner struggle you too were going through coming through in your own preaching. I heard you lament that you stayed awake at nights knowing the lack of impact all the weekly efforts were really making in the multitude surrounding you. Of all the churches I had been a part of and visited, Long Hollow seemed to have the most potential for turning the tide and throwing out the business-focused church growth questions and evaluators and trying to truly find a way to measure and evaluate personal spiritual growth. I hope God will continue to allow you to be tormented with those questions rather than, as it appears in this article, settling for the numbers=growth model which has paralyzed those who call themselves believers for decades. It was through torment like that I was awakened and realized God was doing something brand new and I wanted to be a part of it.

Let me challenge you to read the book Plan A. And There Is No Plan B. by Dwight Robertson. Specifically looking for the illustration about the man who invented the game of checkers. I believe churches, like the emperor of China in that illustration, would be offended that any believer would “ask for so little” as to invest themselves into two others, who would in turn invest themselves into two, who would eventually, the pattern continued, change the world. Why do we always have to find more productive ways of doing it ourselves when Jesus gave to us The Way and showed us how to do it.

Projecting the familiar on to that we’ve not experienced

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So as I cruise the Internet reading various blogs I continue to astounded and marvel at the pervasive habit of projecting the tenants of something with which we are familiar on to something we’ve never experienced.

Okay, guilty as charged. I too did this for a couple of decades. From the time I began to make my way into “full time ministry” I interpreted everything I read in the Bible through the filters of stuff I saw and understood around me. In other words, when I read “church” in the New Testament I projected what I saw a church to be in my culture and time onto what I read. Almost as if the Ephesian “church” looked and functioned just like First Church Anytown I was familiar with. They had Sunday School in the morning on Sundays right? Well, that’s a little too simplistic but you get the idea. When I read “pastor” I projected what I had always known as a “pastor” back on to what I was reading. When I read Paul’s letter to the church at Galatia I read it envisioning a group of people gathered on a certain day seated in orderly fashion where a designated person read the letter as part of the “service” being conducted. I envisioned a “pastor” speaking

That’s a dangerous flaw in the way we read and study. I know, I know, that’s why we do all that deep Bible study and ferret out the meanings and culture and history. But the fact remains, my impression of what the New Testament Christ Followers were like was tainted by my own experience. I knew nothing else.

Last year I began to escape the decades of filters that had for so long kept me from understanding the life and ministry of Jesus and what He left to his disciples. The mission He left them. Not the mission I was taught being projected back on to what He said at the end of Matthew, but more of what He was truly saying to them. Since then, my eyes have been opened to understand things from my reading that had before never quite connected. Now, the rationalizations I had made as to why something I read in the Bible didn’t seem to fit with other stuff I read in the Bible began to no longer be necessary.

I’m anxious at some point to try once again to learn to read Greek and may attempt (yeah right) Hebrew. I’m wondering how much of what we read in a translation could be skewed by that which the translator is familiar with and takes on today’s meaning rather than the meaning for which it was written. I know. I know. This is a Pandora’s box. But nonetheless, one worth considering.

Another Cheap Immitation for Churchites

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I for one am really tired of seeing the churchites have to “church-ize” everything. While I openly admit in my former years of churchianity I too might have flipped at this, but I quickly began to tire of all the copy cat stuff we keep seeing. It works for the “christian” stores as it gives them revenue. It works for the churchites as it affords them the opportunity to stay locked in the little bubbles of security they continue to build for themselves. So, would Jesus play Guitar Hero or Guitar Praise? Or, does it really matter? (I think not!) But, that said I am really tired of seeing these “kingdom” knock-offs all over the place. Would it be nice to see something original come out of the religion of Christianity? Seen Testamints?

Attending Meetings Does Not Equal Church

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So today I came across several interesting blogs. One of which led me to lifestream.org – I continue to be amazed how prevalent this movement of God is. In fact, I remember around Feb or Mar of 2007 thinking I was the only one out here struggling with whether what I had come to know as “church” was really what Jesus meant for His followers to be doing. One of the watershed moments in the journey was looking around the room at a group of folks whom I had led in Bible study for several years after making the comment “You have to take personal responsibility for your own spiritual growth. Not your spouse, not me, not the pastor, or the church. But you reaching out to walk with Jesus day by day, moment by moment.” What I noticed would best be described as the deer in headlights look from all but three faces. It was then I realized God was calling me to invest deeply in the three who understood. So, reading the lifestream.org blog/site today I found this comment:

Don’t be tricked into thinking that just because you attend its meetings you are experiencing real body life. That only comes as God connects you with a handful of brothers and sisters with whom you can build close friendships and share the real ups and downs of this journey.

From Why I Don’t Go to Church Anymore! by Wayne Jacobsen

There you go! Reflecting back after my own watershed moment, I remember the numerous times I or someone else would speak of walking in the Spirit and sensing the leadership of the Spirit to do, say, or whatever, and seeing those same looks. The funny thing was the family-ship that the group had. Probably the most unified group I’ve ever been a part of. Yet, the experience of being in touch with God through the Spirit mostly absent. I believe a vast majority of those “attending church” today, even those who experience a great “fellowship” of friends and having incredibly moving spiritual moments, are not experiencing a genuine, Spirit-led walk. In fact, the pastor of the church (deemed a highly successful and exploding church by all standards of ministry in today’s mainstream understanding) we were attending at that point even said in the same message which prompted my comment about personal responsibility for one’s own spiritual walk that he stayed awake at nights lamenting that over 90% of the folks who sat listening to him each week would spend eternity in hell.

Schizophrenia Not Allowed

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One of the interesting realizations along my journey has been how schizophrenic the traditional views of God, His Word, and His Ways tends to become.One is the way we tend to look at the Old Testament and the New Testament in different ways. While there are more ways we look at the front and back of the Bible with differing views, this only deals with one particular aspect of our perception.

It occured to me that we tend to look at the Old Testament as stories holding truth about what we should and should not do as God’s people, but we tend to look at the New Testament as primarily a record of what we should do. It’s like we turn the magic page between old and new and the very nature of the complete story changes.

I remember one of the major themes of the Old Testament is the fickleness of the God’s people. Story after story after story details how the people of God ride the roller coaster of loving God and following Him and then ignoring God and going their own way; or worse yet intermixing the ways of God with the ways of the God-less.

Wouldn’t it make sense that this theme played out throughout the entire record of God’s redeeming work? Or did that propensity for man going his own way magically disappear between Malachi and Matthew? I’m beginning to realize that the theme indeed continues as we see the closest followers of Jesus, after the resurrection, return to fishing where Jesus finds them and puts them back on the right path (sound like an Old Testament theme to you?). Then there’s the page turn between John and Acts. The very first act in the “church age” was for the closest followers of Jesus to create the first nominating committee and “throw the dice” to determine who should replace Judas among the twelve. (I personally believe this was taking matters into their own hands as we later see God replace Judas with Paul; His work, His time, His way vs our work for Him, our way, our timing)

Where did the disciples see this method of determining the will of God? Do we have record of them sitting under a tree or beside a road with Jesus during the three years they were with him so they would know where to go and what to do? Some have challenged my interpretation by pointing out that Jesus was filled with the Spirit and was able to hear the voice of His Father that way, while the disciples at this point had not received the gift of the Spirit so they had to use another method. Again, I don’t see Jesus instructing them to do that or showing them how in the record we have of His time with them.

I would cite more examples, but that would incite a riot here and I’m not after that. What I’m trying to do from this point forward is test everything I see in the New Testament (as well as the Old) against what I see Jesus doing and what I hear Jesus saying in the record of His time here among us. If there’s a difference between what Jesus said and did, it leaves room for considering if that was something we’ve added to what Jesus and His Father intended.

So, to me, this thread of the fickleness of God’s people continues throughout the story. So where are the turns back to the old ways? What events in Matthew-Revelation are the record of God’s people returning to old ways instead of following the new way Jesus showed and left them? What pieces of an old way of life do we live out today because “it’s in the New Testament” even though it’s in there to show that even after Christ’s sacrifice for us was fulfilled we still battle with the draw to our old ways of unbelief? At least I’m watching for those now as I read the New Testament too.

Unity in the Spirit

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I had an unusual experience this week and it brought me to a greater appreciation for the concept of unity in the Spirit. When I look around and see all the disunity in what’s supposed to be the communities of believers I see some managed unity, but nothing like this experience this week.

A God-appointment orchestrated via Facebook brought me back across a former high school mate, Steve Villanueva. While we each knew of each other during our high school years and that we both were involved in church, that was pretty much it as far as being friends.

We Have Been Lied To

We Have Been Lied To

We met at a local Macaroni Grill for about two hours. The first 10 minutes was about the formalities… where and what since high school. Then Steve told me he had a book that was published and was being released this month (We Have Been Lied To by Stephen Villanueva which is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Target now, and Borders later this month). WOW! How cool is that.

As we continued to talk throughout lunch I was overwhelmed with how two guys, vaguely acquainted for four years over two decades ago could come together after barely knowing each other so long ago and having zero contact since could be so on the same page. I listened intently as he laid out the things God had been teaching and showing him. Recalling the same stories from Scripture with the revolutionary understanding which God had given me over the last couple of years. It was as if we had been hanging around with each other and heard the stories time after time so we were able to speak as one.

Then it hit me. I had always talked about the unity that should exist for believers because the same Spirit was alive in both, but never had I experienced it quite like this. I had even joked that the Spirit was not schizophrenic so when there was disunity one or the other was not led by the Spirit. Story for story, words lining up with words, experiences akin to the others. It was truly amazing.

Then I began to reflect on the work God had done to inspire the writing of the Bible into the amazing book of unity it is today and was further in awe of the moment.

If you are walking in the Spirit, then the Spirit in you should be in full agreement with the Spirit alive in another Christ Follower. Have you experienced a relationship/conversation like this? If not, wonder which Christ Follower is the one not consistently walking in and being led by the Spirit?